As part of your asset protection strategy you may wish to utilize an offshore merchant account to process credit card sales for your business. Fees are going to vary depending on volume and what you are selling. For a merchant account in an offshore (friendly) country the cost is usually 7.00% - 8.50% depending on product, average ticket, etc. The merchant account introduction is $495.00. There are no cheap offshore merchant accounts.

We do assist clients with obtaining offshore merchant accounts. There are no anonymous merchant accounts. Even though you are using an anonymous Bearer Share Corporation the merchant account corporation will want to know who you are with identity documents and financial information on the company and principals. They generally pay weekly with about a 3 week delay until you receive funds. They will gladly wire the funds into a Panama bank account. The merchant account company requires a minimum of $20,000 a month in billing for the last three months as a minimum. Start-ups are not considered. They will ask to see your existing merchant account billing statements for past few months. If you do not have them and are a new business we can not get you a merchant account. The processor does not begin to realize any profits until the client bills $20,000. We do understand there is a gap here for a startup company but please bear in mind we are a law firm assisting our clients we are not a bank. We do welcome questions but please realize we have no control over certain parameters. Also please realize if your chargeback’s run too high you will be at risk to have your account closed with the funds held for six months to settle any chargeback’s coming in later on and this is contractually stated. We are not offering merchant accounts for hi-risk merchants that have a lot of credit card fraud, chargeback’s and other cardholder queries. If you get a lot of chargeback’s or credit card fraud this program will not have a happy ending for you.

If you wish to proceed please fill out this online secure application form and we can contact the merchant account company for a preliminary position on whether or not they will accept you. The final decision is made after all the documents are collected.

Secure Merchant Account Application Form

If the chargeback rate exceeds 1% or 2% depending on the company, the account is subject to closure. Sometimes, note we said sometimes, the merchant account company will not close your account but instead work with you to reduce chargeback’s if your rate is 3% or less (a general rule not a firm policy and there is variance from company to company). This is not an absolute but usually they will attempt to help you reduce chargeback’s. This can be by blocking countries with high fraud rates, blocking proxy servers, doing telephone verification of orders etc. Be careful if you get a lot of chargeback’s this is not for you. Inquire. We do not take adult, internet or online pharmacies, gambling, gaming, sports book, MLM, or illegal products.

When looking for a merchant account that is offshore be aware of unscrupulous companies that specialize in keeping merchants funds as their only real means of making profits. The scams are not really scams but you are set up to fail. A contract is created where you have to keep chargeback’s down to 1%, the visa guidelines. Remember the average internet merchant gets about 3% in chargeback’s so already by statistics you are doomed. You are told and agree in writing to having your account closed down if you exceed this 1% figure and your funds held for six months. Now you start processing and shipping goods. They say they’ll pay every two weeks but there is a two week holdback so that means four weeks until a wire is sent well OK what can you do so you start. Well at the end of the four weeks there are some more delays, perhaps you are told a wire will be sent, is sent, was sent, came back with wrong instructions, the correspondent bank has it, whatever. So now about six weeks goes by and you are still shipping and have no money. Ok so you call them up every day, scream at them etc and well by now your chargeback’s are starting to come in at a good clip. Many of you reading this are hi-risk merchants and you know it. So then you are told your account is closed per the agreement and come back in six months for your funds. Can you sue them? Sure, but they are in an offshore country remember which means you have to go there, hire a lawyer, post a bond for court costs and face the written agreement you signed with them while they are calling you a fraudster in their court, saying you exceeded visa guidelines endangering their account with visa, etc. Odds of winning are slim and the cost will be $25,000 plus by the time you get a court date and that will probably be a few years down the road and don’t forget you just shipped six weeks of orders all with no money coming in. OK now you realize you aren’t going to sue them. You decide to play the “I hope game” commonly found in scams and wait the six months out. Well now some of your money has dwindled away in charge backs that are uncontested because they aren’t going to waste time fighting them. Now after the six months is up the money and time wait to sue them is still the same and now you are worn down plus the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow has shrunk. They write you when your lawyer contacts them and they say well you are a fraud, how do we know you didn’t submit all these stolen credit cards, we are going to hold your money another few months because someone could have filed a chargeback one day before the six month limit and it will take a few weeks to work through the system. If you spend the money hire a lawyer and sue them in their jurisdiction they will answer the complaint and wait and eventually offer to settle with you for a lesser amount like 15% to 30% just because they can push you down considering your legal expenses, and time delay for trial. If the settlement covers your legal expenses you probably didn’t do too badly. Their lawyers get these lawsuits frequently and know exactly how to answer them with no research since they wrote the agreement you signed.

If the above or similar happened to you we can tell you how to turn the tables on the merchant account provider assuming not too much time has gone by. You can still recover a lot of your money, never all but usually a substantial piece of it. The recovery depends a lot on your customer relations, nature of your products and price levels. It is a tested method that will get results fast without not using any court system but we offer this as a service, if we post it on the web site too many people will find out about it and it will no longer be as effective Feel free to inquire but please do not try to probe us as to details.

Now you might ask yourself how the really hi-risk industries like porn with chargeback rates over 30% survive. Easy answer. Some years ago when spam was make a crime in many jurisdictions there was a thinning of the herd in the porn industry, customer acquisition costs became expensive and complicated as well, the porn industry switching from spam to paid link exchanges. Only the large survived this cut. Credit card chargeback ratios used to be more lenient in years past with 2% as the common figure, not 1% but a large account could get away with much higher rates of chargeback’s back then. To beat the system the porn people starting becoming merchant account providers using offshore structures to conceal things. They look for a large amount of low risk businesses to process for. This allows them to have an outrageous fraud rate of 30%+ in their porn business and still keep their overall chargeback rate down to 1% for the entire group of accounts processed by their merchant account provider which is really them. Occasionally the visa people may get wise to a lot of chargeback’s coming from a particular site and then they just have a different site and corporation process for the same porn site by transporting people to a different payment page that still sets up their passwords and user names for the same site visa doesn’t like. This allows them to make an outrageous profit on the porn sites and they give away the merchant accounts at a low rate to attract fraud free businesses. Now these same porn people turned merchant account providers discovered a way to enhance profits and make themselves look cleaner to visa, and that is to rip off inexperienced hi-risk merchants as described above. Since they have a lot of low risk merchants to offset the hi-chargeback’s their victims will bring in, but their cleanup for visa is they killed the account in six weeks due to hi fraud, see what good guys we are. Now you probably know a lot more than you did before you came to this web site. If you want to get philosophical it is the Visa and MasterCard people that are at fault. As long as they can keep passing the fraud losses on to the merchant they will probably never do anything meaningful to stop fraud.

Ronald Edwards is a researcher, with years of experience in finances and real estate.

AP - LISBON, Portugal (AP) - Amy Winehouse showed up late for her first concert since leaving rehab, giving an underwhelming performance in front of 90,000 people Friday at a Lisbon music festival.

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The Chicago Manual of Style, now in its 15th edition, is the style bible for anyone in the book industry who works with the nitty-gritty of the words on the page: copy editors, proofreaders, indexers, book designers, etc. And it should be a part of any author’s reference library.

It’s not a thin, prettily designed book of common grammar mistakes that’s marketed to the average writer. (See Eats, Shoots and Leaves. ) It’s not a book you’ll read cover to cover–it’s interesting to us word geeks to read sections here and there, but mostly you’ll look up grammar or style issues as they come up. It’s a no-nonsense, no-frills compendium of everything under the sun related to putting a book together, from the distinction between “that” and “which” to the physical process of typesetting and printing a book-both of which you should know about, whether you’re working with a publishing house or you’re self-publishing.

In fact, if you’re self-publishing, you have no excuse for not investing in the Chicago Manual. Other media (newspapers, magazines, etc.) use other style guides, but Chicago is used almost without exception by book publishers. So if you’re your own book publisher, you need it. Different self-publishing or print-on-demand companies offer varying degrees of copyediting or design help, but often you simply set up your book as a PDF file to be printed as is. So why not make it look as much like a “real” book as possible?

Chicago takes you through the whole process: writing tips and grammar rules, page design and layout (have you ever noticed that new chapters almost always begin without a paragraph indent?), printing and binding. You can’t justify being without it, so don’t even try. And it might even give you a few ideas for book industry jobs to help pay the bills: ever thought of taking a class on book indexing?

In short, everyone in book publishing uses Chicago, so if you want to know what those in-the-know know, you should be familiar with it, too.

Lisa Silverman is a freelance book editor and works in the copyediting department at Farrar, Straus and Giroux, one of New York’s most prestigious literary publishing houses. She has also worked as a ghostwriter and a literary agent representing both book authors and screenwriters. She founded www.BeYourOwnEditor.com http://www.BeYourOwnEditor.com in order to provide writers with free advice on both writing and the publishing business.

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It’s that time of year again when everyone hits the high street to do their Christmas shopping. There are a few Christmas shopping strategies.

 Start in June This saves you panicking in a number of ways You don’t get into debt because you are spreading the cost of Christmas over 7 months. You get to buy presents at bargain prices and take advantage of all the summer sales. There are not Christmas queues and the weather is dry fine and warm, making your Christmas shopping a more enjoyable experience.

 Leave it until Christmas Eve! The shops are desperate by this time and slash they prices incredibly. It is a bit of mad dash but all the Christmas stress is confined to a single 24 hours.

 Buy online. Quick and convenient, no queuing, no trying to find car parking, no terrible weather. Plus many retailers offer discounts for online orders, which means you save money too!

Many people are worried about security and credit card fraud when buying online. Of course this is a worry, nobody wants to be the victim of credit card fraud. However, there are some steps you can take to keep your online shopping experience as safer transaction as possible.

When buying online, only use reputable retailers. This maybe a high street retailer who have an online shopping facilities or a large online store. Maybe a friend has recommended a particular website that they have purchased goods from in the past. Some online shops state how long they have been trading. If a store has been trading online for a number of years, and is well established, this is a good indicator of a reputable store.

When shopping online you inevitably end up at the ‘check out’. This is the point where the store will ask you for your name, postal address and credit or debit card details. This is the time when credit card fraud is a danger.

To protect yourself look for a padlock icon in the status bar at the bottom of the window on the actual ‘check out’ page, where the website is asking you to submit your details. This padlock mean that this page of the website has a secure connection, so any information that you submit on this page will not be decipherable to anyone else, it will be encrypted. If there is not a padlock, it is not a secure connection despite what the actual web page content may say.

You can still submit your details, However, you do significantly increase the risk of becoming a victim of credit card fraud.

Our advice would be to contact the website and ask them to provide you with a secure payment page, or shop elsewhere.

However you do your Christmas shopping this year, Enjoy your experience and keep your card details safe.

S. Roberts writes for www.santaspostbag.co.uk http://www.santaspostbag.co.uk a website offering Christmas information, education and tips and advice to help your Christmas be the greatest ever. Plus correspond with Santa for FREE www.santaspostbag.co.uk/your-letter-from-santa.php http://www.santaspostbag.co.uk/your-letter-from-santa.php

AP - The candidate is on an outdoor stage, her shoulders bobbing and weaving as two reggaeton performers dance around her. Welcome to Hillary Rodham Clinton’s most excellent adventure.

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It is very important for a breastfeeding mother to have a healthy and balanced diet. A variety of foods are required during this period including:

Get lots of vegetables and fruits - try and have an intake of 5 portions a day of fruit and vegetables.

For additional energy try and take in starch rich foods such as bread, pasta, potatoes, pulses and rice - this will provide a good source of energy.

Foods such as whole meal bread, vegetables, pulses, cereals and pastas will provide fibre - women occasionally experience bowel problems after childbirth and an intake of fibre on a daily basis will help with this.

Proteins such as lean meat, fish, eggs and poultry.

Try and get two portions of fish per week (including some oily fish). Do not exceed 2 portions of oily fish per week.

Dairies such as cheese, milk and yoghurt are an excellent source of calcium and should be included in a breast feeding mother’s diet.

Some doctors advise taking vitamin supplements such as Vitamin D (10 mcg per day). Your doctor will be able to advise which supplements will be right for you.

In addition to the foods that you should eat above there are certain food types that you should steer clear of at this time.

As above you should restrict your intake of oily fish to two portions per week but you should also avoid eating more than one portion of swordfish, marlin or shark per week as these fish contain high levels of mercury.

You should also be careful with your intake of caffeine and alcohol. It is true that some breast feeding babies react to the foods that their mother has consumed.

Some doctors believe that it is wise to lay off peanuts during this stage as well - approximately 2% of the population is allergic to peanuts - however your baby may have a higher chance of being allergic if the mother/father/brothers/sisters have problems such as asthma, eczema or hay fever. If you believe your baby may be at risk due to these factors it is worth consulting your doctor.

Lisa Lee

AP - Brazil’s government agreed to release stunning photos of Amazon Indians firing arrows at an airplane so that the world can better understand the threats facing one of the few tribes still living in near-total isolation from civilization, officials said Friday.

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Most of us use our voices all day long but only a few people are aware of how to take care of your voice to guarantee optimum vocal health and vocal power. Common sense vocal rules can really help you to perform, present & speak well. These simple vocal care tips will help you to become more confident, keep your vocal cords in tip top shape & put your best voice forward.

KEEP YOUR VOCAL FOLDS HYDRATED

A moist vocal tract will give you the best sound with the least amount of vocal effort so it is wise to stay hydrated. Vocal health experts agree that you should drink a minimum of eight glasses of water per day. To keep your vocal cords functioning optimally, before and during an important presentation, anything you drink should be room temperature or close to body temperature. Ideally drinks should not be too hot or too cold because extreme temperatures can de-neutralize your sensitive vocal instrument.

If you travel frequently via airplane, drink lots of water while flying. Recycled air in planes is extremely dehydrating to the voice & skin. Speaking above the level of the constant often-unnoticed engine noise can put a great strain on your voice so talk as little as possible if you need to deliver a presentation on the same day that you fly.

The day before and the day of an important presentation try to avoid alcohol, smoking and second-hand smoke, caffeine, antihistamines and chocolate - note that penicillin and many prescription drugs also dry out vocal cords.

PREVENT EXCESS VOCAL MUCOUS

Many people find dairy products phlegm producing so if this is an issue for you avoid dairy. Also limit your sugar intake, including sugary drinks before giving a speech, presentation or public speaking. Stick with warm or room temperature water on the day of a presentation for optimum vocal performance.

If you need to entertain for work or like the occasional alcoholic drink with dinner, the night before and the day of your presentation avoid red wine, grain alcohol, vodka and beer because they can sometimes spark allergic reactions that decrease your vocal power. If you must drink for social reasons or simply cannot abstain before your presentation, choose white wine instead.

Women who are pregnant, lactating or menstruating will generally experience extra vocal mucous and vocal cord swelling. To manage this simply take more time to warm up than usual and drink extra fluids to ensure your vocal cords are moist and flexible.

VOCAL DON’TS

Speakers often clear their throats as a nervous habit. Try not to do this. Instead, cough gently or silently. Then build up saliva in your mouth, lower your chin to your chest, and swallow.

If you are feeling unwell or struggling vocally, don’t speak with a forced whisper. The reason for this is that your tiny crycothyroid muscle at the back of your throat weakens and wears out much faster than if you just speak normally.

The best way to manage an ailing voice is to use your voice as little as possible or to give yourself complete vocal rest for 12 to 24 hours. If that isn’t possible, make sure you warm up slowly and gently with a nasal focus to keep any strain off of your throat and voice. Only light and gentle vocal exercises should be performed if you are unwell.

For optimum vocal performance before or during an important presentation don’t drink anything carbonated because it could cause you to burp.

Many peak performance trainers also suggest following basic food combining principles like not combining protein and starch in the same meal and eating fruit only on an empty stomach. The food combining rules aren’t for everyone but if you do choose to follow them you will have access to significantly more energy because the body doesn’t have to work as hard to digest the food in your stomach. Consequently more energy can be channeled into your presentation.

VOCAL DO’S

You can chew gum or suck on lozenges to keep your vocal folds moist. I have found lozenges with glycerin to be the most soothing to the voice. Also stay away from menthol flavors because they tend to irritate delicate vocal folds.

To comfort a fatigued voice, many vocal professionals choose to drink honey and lemon in warm water. Warm peppermint or chamomile tea with or without honey can also be very soothing to the voice. The natural peppermint will give you energy and the chamomile will calm you. You can also mix peppermint & chamomile together for variety.

Finally, ample sleep and complete vocal rest are the best solutions to heal an overly stressed voice. If you are leading up to an important presentation and are in any way nervous about it, following these simple vocal rules will really help you. In order to perform, present or speak well it is best to do everything you can to get out of our own way physically, vocally and psychologically. Again, these simple vocal care tips will help you to become more confident, keep your vocal cords in tip top shape and put your best voice forward.

Copyright 2006 Deborah Torres Patel

Deborah Torres Patel is an internationally acclaimed expert on self expression and the fine arts of voice & communication. To receive ongoing tips & subscribe for complimentary online voice, presentation & public speaking training sign up at www.expressingyou.com http://www.expressingyou.com .

LiveScience.com - A mat of nanowires with the touch and feel of paper could be an important new tool in the cleanup of oil and other organic pollutants, scientists announced today.

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If you run into a legal dispute, and everyone does, you may need to hire a law firm to represent you. If so, it helps to know who is who in regard to positions in the law firm.

Positions in a Law Firm

It may come as a surprise to learn that law firms tend to be very rigid in their structure. From the very beginning, the law firm has maintained a layered structure that just seemed to work. As the years have passed, there has been little or no change to this structure. If you retain a law firm to represent you in any legal matter, it helps to understand the positions and who you will be speaking with.

At the top of the organization chart is the lead attorney on your case. This is where the buck stops when it comes to strategy, final decisions and problems. The lead attorney is often a partner in the firm, but not always. He or she is the attorney you will probably meet with when you first come into the firm. The attorney is responsible for practically everything on your case, but has a team that does much of the leg work on day to day matters.

Below the lead attorney, one tends to find an associate lawyer. The associate is typically a less experienced attorney who is earning his or her stripes and trying to work their way up to a partner position. When it comes to communicating with the firm on your case, you will inevitably talk with the associate on numerous occasions. He or she will often call with questions related to factual issues and will address many of your questions as they arise.

Next comes the valuable paralegal. The paralegal is not a licensed attorney, but is often very knowledgeable on legal issues and strategies. The paralegal role in a firm is to do most of the detail work. This can include hunting down witnesses, setting depositions, compiling filings and so on. He or she will often share work with the associate attorney.

Finally, the law clerk is a person in the firm that will probably work on your case a lot without you even knowing it. A law clerk is almost always a law school student. To pick up practical experience, the law clerk takes a part time position with the firm. The job duties vary from firm to firm, but often are focused on doing legal research on various legal issues. Much of the legal regulation of a situation is determined by case law opinions issues by appellate or supreme courts of the states and federal jurisdictions. A law clerk spends a lot of time in a library reading these as they relate to your matter and reporting the results back to the associate and lead attorney.

One of the keys to understanding how to deal with a law firm is to know who is who. Now you do.

Gerard Simington is with www.findanattorneyforme.com http://www.findanattorneyforme.com - a free online attorney directory.

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You are familiar with the mantra of Content and Links . You are excited and are very enthusiastic about marketing your articles. So many thoughts are running through your mind. What to write about? How can I be sure that Webmasters will pick up my article? Questions, Questions and Questions.

Look no further. Here are a few proven tips that get you started on the right track.

What does a publisher look for, in your article?

First and foremost, think for a moment that you are a Webmaster, browsing through the article directories. Which are the articles that you are most likely to pick and publish on your site? My answer would be, a good, well-written article that enriches the content of my website, that addresses a unique topic that’s useful to my regular readers and I would love if it is written with SEO in view such that my website draws traffic from search engines. Webmasters are your customers and their wish is your command, so to say.

Fill the Need - Spot an Opportunity:

Matt Cutts, who is currently running a video series on his blog and writes occasionally, has written an entry exclusively about writing useful articles. His advice is to fill a need with your article. (Very powerful suggestion after all SEO is all about content). And anytime you look for information on the web and could not find it, that should be registered an opportunity, according to Matt. He gives his Changing the default printer for Firefox on Linux? blog entry as an example.

His advice is to look for small niches that have no relevant content yet on the web. The added advantage here is that, SEO is relatively easy. Look at the title of Matt’s changing printer article and that tells you what keywords to intelligently use in your article. (If you are a user who needs this changing printer stuff, what would be your search phrases? That’s the key to a good article with SEO that webmasters love.)

In essence, as some SEO expert summarized, hard to find answers are the best marketed articles. Think about it. Your articles should enrich the web in general by making things easily accessible. It does not hurt to re-iterate the Mantra: SEO is about Content and Links!!

Fresh View Point - Have something new to offer

If the topic of choice for your article is a popular one, a hot topic that every one is talking about, be sure to address the issue from a totally different viewpoint. It could perhaps be a little controversial. This after all is the key to success in media business and article marketing is in the same genre. Imagine threads on various forums getting dedicated just to discuss your controversial view.

Pay attention to your Titles - Keywords in Titles

It is an established fact that publishers use your articles mostly to get traffic from search engines. Title plays a key role in this. Pack your title with relevant but most commonly searched terms. Your title tells your reader why they should read your article. Think about it. Sprinkle relevant keywords in your article. But, take care not to over do it.

Know your customers

Keep track of the websites that are publishing your articles. Alerting them of your new articles might be a good option. Perhaps you can even go one step ahead and ask them for subjects that they would like you to write about.

In summary:

1. Your articles should enrich the content of your publishers. Look for small niches that are yet to be addressed. Every failed search is an opportunity to tap into. Start small with these niches and slowly expand into related areas. Establish yourself as an expert. Article Marketing is a powerful way to build credibility.

2. If yours is a hot topic, it does not hurt to take a fresh yet controversial stance.

3. Write the article keeping SEO in view. Pay attention to Titles.

4. Know and keep track of your publishers. Direct contact with them can give you new areas to write articles about.

Article marketing is viral and if your article is good enough, it can go a long way and surprise you, the author, in many ways.

Get going and prosper!!

Jonathan White has been doing article & other online marketing for over 4 years. He owns articles.simplysearch4it.com http://articles.simplysearch4it.com & articles.simplysearch4it.co.uk http://articles.simplysearch4it.co.uk

AP - The remnants of Tropical Storm Alma swept across Honduras on Friday, dumping rain and leaving roofless homes and flooded streets in its wake.

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Initially aired following the 1997 Super Bowl, King of the Hill discovered an instant audience niche that has the followed the show loyally ever since. The brainchild of Beavis and Butthead creator Mike Judge (also known for the hit movie Office Space), King of the Hill is a unique animated series in that it doesn’t rely on cartoon suspension of reality or outlandish antics. In fact, the show would arguably be just as successful if it were not animated at all. Nevertheless, it’s Mike Judge (voice of Hank Hill) and his unique brand of humor that make King of the Hill a must-see TV series…

Set in the fictional town of Arlen, Texas, King of the Hill follows the life and exploits of Hank Hill and his traditional nuclear family. Hank is a red-state propane salesman who loves beer and apple pie, but he’s constantly inundated with modern liberalism and grapples with the demands of political correctness. Hank is joined by his wife Peggy (a substitute teacher), his son Bobby (an awkward pre-pubescent youth), and a trailer park-like live-in niece named Luanne… Providing added comic relief to the series are Hank’s off-the-wall friends Bill, Boomhauer (who is inaudible), and Dale (who believes everything is a government conspiracy)… Hank’s Laotian neighbor Kahn (whose daughter Bobby is quite fond of) and his family live next door, providing Hank with a continuing dose of culture shock…

The King Of The Hill DVD features a number of hilarious episodes including the season premiere in which we meet for the first time the various characters involved in Hank Hill’s life in Arlen, Texas. Bobby gets hit in the eye with a baseball, prompting a social worker to launch an investigation into filing possible child abuse charges against Hank. Meanwhile, Hank’s niece Luanne, an aspiring beautician, is forced to move in with Hank and his family after her mother is put in jail for stabbing her father… Other notable episodes from Season 1 include Square Peg in which Peggy is forced to teach sexual education class, and Hank’s Unmentionable Problem in which Hank becomes constipated and (much to his chagrin) receives numerous opinions on how to cure it…

Below is a list of episodes included on the King Of The Hill (Season 1) DVD:

Episode 1 (Pilot) Air Date: 01-12-1997
Episode 2 (Square Peg) Air Date: 01-19-1997
Episode 3 (The Order of the Straight Arrow) Air Date: 02-02-1997
Episode 4 (Hank’s Got the Willies) Air Date: 02-09-1997
Episode 5 (Luanne’s Saga) Air Date: 02-16-1997
Episode 6 (Hank’s Unmentionable Problem) Air Date: 02-23-1997
Episode 7 (Westie Side Story) Air Date: 03-02-1997
Episode 8 (Shins of the Father) Air Date: 03-23-1997
Episode 9 (Peggy the Boggle Champ) Air Date: 04-13-1997
Episode 10 (Keeping Up with Our Joneses) Air Date: 04-27-1997
Episode 11 (King of the Ant Hill) Air Date: 05-04-1997
Episode 12 (Plastic White Female) Air Date: 05-11-1997

Britt Gillette is author of The DVD Report, a blog where you can find where you can find more reviews of movies and TV series. Source: thedvdreport.blogspot.com/2006/02/king-of-hill-dvd.html http://thedvdreport.blogspot.com/2006/02/king-of-hill-dvd.html

AP - The world’s rarest rhino does not like the limelight. A Javan Rhino was captured on video attacking a camera set up in an Indonesian jungle to study the habits of the animal, apparently because she sensed the lens was a threat to her calf, the WWF said Thursday.

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It’s every musician’s fantasy. The tour bus rolls up to the arena (full of groupies, beer and pizza). Fans are crowded out front hoping to catch a glimpse of America’s hottest band. The group is escorted to their dressing room (full of more groupies, beer and pizza). They enjoy the various pleasures of stardom while roadies set up the stage. It’s show time. The artists take the stage. The crowd is screaming. The lights are glaring. The amps are humming. The drummer clicks off the first song and…

You wake up in the back of your PT Cruiser. Your bass player’s elbow is in your ear and the drummer’s asleep on your foot. You’ve eaten nothing for the last week but corn dogs and frozen burritos. This is not the tour you imagined. This is not your Lilith Faire. This is not your Lollapalooza. This is not your Warped Tour. This…sucks.

Every musician dreams of touring. Getting out of their same boring town. Trying their tunes out on new crowds, in new areas, for fresh faces. Bonding on road, writing new tunes in the motel room, free food, free drinks, getting paid, getting laid…living the life.

But the music biz is full of touring horror stories. Bands stuck on the road with no money to come home. Musicians not eating for days. Clubs canceling gigs the night of with no warning. Negative reactions from bar patrons and local bands. The list goes on.

So, how do you make sure that your touring experience is a positive one? What can you, as musicians do, to eliminate potentially negative experiences and create positive ones.

The following are a few tips that add success to your touring experience:

1.) Don’t Plan A Tour Because You’re Unhappy At Home—Just as an affair will not fix the problems in a marriage, a tour is not the cure for: problems within the band, problems in the band members’ lives, or a general malaise for your local scene. A tour is strain and stress and loads of work. You should be excited, and enthusiastic and positive when planning.

2.) Over Prepare Before You Leave—You can never plan too much or take too many precautions. At home is the time to rethink ever scenario and arrange accordingly. Get the van tuned up. Pack extra emergency money. Bring a list of additional clubs in the area in case your gigs fall through. Pack extra strings and sticks. Bring a backup guitar. Pack extra merchandise. Bring emergency food/water. Pack extra batteries and power cords. Bring cell phones.

3.) Be Humble And Thankful—You’re in a strange town and a new club, act like a guest. Nothing ticks off a club owner/promoter who’s taken a chance on an unknown band more than out-of-towners swaggering into a club like Paris Hilton in an episode of “The Simple Life.” No matter how cool you are in your own town, this is unproven ground and your first impression is important. Ask, don’t demand. Set up quickly. Play at an appropriate volume. Clean up after yourselves. Be friendly and courteous. Say “please” and “thank you”. Unless you’re booking in Jerkville USA, this positive attitude could set you well on your way to a repeat booking with better perks and more local support.

4.) Seize Every Opportunity—If you’re going to take the time away from work, family, and the buzz you’ve built in your own music community to head out into the great beyond and conquer unknown lands…you might as well come back with something other than lovely memories and an out-of-state parking ticket. You’re in a new place and the possibilities are endless. Sell CDs. Sell T-shirts. Get new names on your mailing list. Solicit local reviews, interviews, and radio. Introduce yourself to other club owners for future bookings. Find out who books local festivals. Play an impromptu house party after your gig. Make new friends that can street team for you next time. Think of something I haven’t even written here and do it!

Don’t Expect To Conquer The World In One Tour—Rome wasn’t built in a day and neither will your touring empire be. Have fun. Enjoy each trip and using it as a building block to make each tour to that particular place better and more elaborate. Play your cards right, and after a few trips you may be making terrific money, have secured lodging (either new friends let you crash or a club pays for a motel), get food and drinks comped, and guaranteed press and radio coverage.

In short, touring can be the best thing that ever happened to your band if you work hard, play it smart, and follow through correctly. But no matter how much you love to tour, always remember to keep your foot in the door locally. It’s the great work that you do at home that makes other clubs excited about you bringing your show to their town.

Sheena Metal is a radio host, producer, promoter, music supervisor, consultant, columnist, journalist and musician. Her syndicated radio program, Music Highway Radio, airs on over 700 affiliates to more than 126 million listeners. Her musicians’ assistance program, Music Highway, boasts over 10,000 members. She currently promotes numerous live shows weekly in the Los Angeles Area, where she resides. For more info: www.sheena-metal.com http://www.sheena-metal.com ..

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To real baseball fans, Babe Ruth is the greatest home run hitter of all time. When he hit 60 home runs in 1927, he hit more home runs than any of the other (7) American League TEAMS. When Bonds hit 73 homers in 2001, every team in the National League out-homered him. Of course they did, it’s simply not human for one player to out-homer an entire league.

Statistics Through 6/22/07( Projected HR’S Per Aaron’s At Bats)

Name—Homers—– At Bats—- HR per AB—— Slugging Ave——- HRs Projected

Aaron—–755——– 12364——–6.1% ————-.555———————– 755
Bonds—- 749——— 9,683——– 7.7 —————.608———————– 909
Ruth—– 714——- —-8398——– 8.5————— .690———————–1051
Mays—- 660——— 10,881——– 6.0—————-.557————————750

Looking at those numbers, anyone can see that Barry Bonds is great, but Babe Ruth was better. The Babe won 12 Home Run titles to Barry’s two. He won six RBI crowns to Bond’s one. Ruth also led his league in Total Bases seven times, while Bonds achieved that feat only once. Ruth’s lifetime batting average was .342 vs Barry’s .299. Also weight training and flaxseed oil have helped out at the plate. According to baseball-reference.com, there were 1.12 homers per game in 2001-three times more than in 1927. ( Notice I didn’t even mention steroids )

Of course Barry was much superior in the speed department. He stole over 500 bases in his career while Ruth stole just 123. Barry is also the superior outfielder. It was fun to watch him play left field and cut off those hits. Barry won eight Gold Gloves during his career and many of us consider him to be the top defensive left fielder of all time.

One of the reasons Ruth had less at bats was that he pitched from 1915 through 1919. He was the best left-handed pitcher in the American League during that period with a record of 89-46 and posting an ERA of 2.18. He also was an incredible postseason pitcher. In three world series, Ruth pitched 31 innings with a record of 3-0 and an ERA of 0.87.

In summary, I think we all agree that Bonds is a great player. But when you think of Baseball and Homer Runs, you think of Babe Ruth. Bonds could hit 8000 home runs and that wouldn’t change.

James Raymond owner of J-Ray Traders distributor of self defense items and video security cameras.

Kevin Sites, the man who spent 2006 putting a human face on global conflict, spends the next year embedded on the web — putting a human face on the internet.

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